Thankful to the Creator for bringing me back into Alignment,
back to my full Senses and Sanity,
for allowing me to Communicate and know Truth,
to be closer to Nature,
for this Creative Abundance
Within Me and Supporting Me,
to be Alive and InLove
I give thanks!
On my walk today I feel a bit under the weather. Being “natural” is transforming in ways I’ve never felt before in one all encompassing experience. There are (many) days I don’t feel very sexy, I feel rough or not my usual self. With long hair, its so easy to feel sexy. Short hair, short natural hair is a badge of self confidence in the making. If I hardly wore makeup prior to my BC (big chop), I’m wearing even less now in this ‘natural’ vegan,”working-on-being” sustainable space. Gotta wake up earlier, I promise myself. I feel off center.
A moving truck pulls up and the most beautiful brown skinned man asks me if I know where “Route 77” is? Instantly, I’m mesmerized by his soothing eyes, deep dark chocolate skin, and perfectly pinned back dark brown locs and respond “no” apologetically.” There is a pause. I had no idea route 77 existed. I smirk then continue up the hill on the journey.
In spite of my double-double Watercress Apple green juice, I feel exhausted up those hills. I feel small, lighter. I’ve felt that way when I was vegan many years ago which is why I included more cooked foods and then eggs. But then I didnt have ‘breakfast’ so I will do it the right way tomorrow. On my walk/run the Sun is hiding by a white blanket of blue grey. I find myself easily distracted by the birds and different mushrooms I photograph; the pine cones still hanging in trees in formation, the different trees I wondered their names. If their bark showed healthiness or sickness and I wondered about those who could read these signs of Nature. I longed for their wisdom and presence. Most of all I longed to know how to truly live with Nature.
I remembered when I was a child and how lost I’d find myself in the woods and play for hours upon hours. Lying on my back in a field somewhere on a hill, eating clovers and honeysuckle, playing guess with the clouds above. Right now, apart of me feels child-like wanting to go deep into the forest and explore! My hair is unwrapped and free. I am wearing only blue eyeliner on my lower eye, no lipstick, no makeup! I feel naked and honestly a bit awkward in this new skin. Almost no hair, no makeup, no flashy clothes, just me getting Sun, working out my fitness, absorbing the Nature around me. It’s almost frightening yet freeing with a lot of feeling new and raw.
The hills are trying and I noticed my panting and uneasiness followed by a soothing calm that seemed to last ‘forever.’ This feeling is infinite and I hold on to it and let it wash over me. It cleanses me and feels amazing. I then wished I had started this NaturalSelfGoddess 20 years ago, how beneficial and how healing this all would have been- wishing my accumulated wisdom would have magically carried me back into the future of my past. How empowered I would be then and now, I thought!
On the close of my walk there is a long stretch of ‘grass’ I love to cross avoiding the sidewalk. I imagine cattle grazing upon the clover, the birds following behind. I imagine myself on a small farm of my own. There is a small blue bird perching upon a tree nearby not a blue jay- the other kind with the brownish, orange chest, tiny in stature but fast. As I get closer it moves from tree to tree just beyond my reach when i think I’m good for a photo. I do my best to capture it on film, but it seems to lead me to a small circular grass area with lots of clover. I look down and there is a Bee. I smile! And thank this beautiful blue creature for allowing me a glimpse of this divine Bee. I give thanks as I approach the store all smiles outside and inside.
When I get inside the store to get my ‘gotta have it’ coconut. I am followed by a community of eyes meeting me at each aisle. In my ignorance, I think how can wearing no makeup, no lipstick be beautiful or attractive? Maybe the double-double shots of Watercress Apple juice is working after all, I finally give in. This must be what beauty from the inside out truly means. Ase’ Oshun – I am learning!
When I read the meaning of the bluebird I laughed soo hard. Because Yes, I did wander about like my inner child! The longing to be in a space of more happiness and more balance of spirit, body, soul! Nature is ALWAYS communicating with us, to us, at us! May I be “More” aware to know, see, feel, all that She has to express. (big kitty smile) (july 2, 2015)
In Nurturing Patience,
Native American Totem of the Blue Bird (Medicine)
Bluebird is about your happiness within and without. He signifies a contentment and fulfillment that is happening or is about to happen. Bluebird shows how to find those joyful gems in everyday life with an appreciation anew. He teaches a balance of work and play and reminds us to reinstate the fun back into life. Listen to the song of Bluebird in order to sing your own of joy with an awakened confidence and internal peace. It is time to look for chances to touch joy in your life. Dance and sing with every step, Bluebird will show you the way. (source. starstuffs.com)
Bluebird is a reminder that you are born to happiness and fulfillment,
Bluebird is associated with the throat chakra and creative expression.
Bluebird is symbolic of the need to work hard and play hard.
Bluebirds, and their totem people, are gentle and unaggressive.
A Bluebird person should have their front door facing south,
BlueBird Songs and Art
I found a picture while searching for Blue Bird songs and Art of this singer and Navajo woman just now in a google search. I was amazed because she looks like many people in my family! My Aunt Tiye a singer, musician, playwright and recent graduate from Columbia University (NYC). She locked her long brown hair but the eyes are the same! She looks like my half sister whose father is mixed with Cherokee from the Carolinas. She looks like my daughter Kaya in the eyes, hair and complexion. Then there are my great aunts from the island of Guadeloupe, Terre de Bass. I have great aunts who look like me, petite kinky short hair with reddish brown skin, and those who look like this woman, ‘Hawaiian’ complexion with long, black, curly and thick straight hair. When my daughter was born, I had a vision of my great, great grandmother whom I had never met whos hair was long past her waist near the floor who stood by a thin bronze-skinned brown man in a room filled with Ancestors. When I mentioned her to my mother she said that was what our family in the islands had said Great Great Grandmother Emily looked like and she had a brother she was very close to growing up. There were rumors that I haven’t investigated yet, that she was not originally from the island but Brasil other rumors said she was from Africa and of course a princess in captivity. Our family is said to have strong native Indian blood but I haven’t done enough research to find out the who and where! I’ve only had dreams and visions. It would be nice to finally know.
I’ve never heard of Radmilla Cody so this is a treat and she is such a beauty. I cant wait to hear her music!